Once you've taken some time to cool down, let your partner know that saying this invalidated your feelings and that, in the future, you'd like them to be more respectful. ", "This indicates a lack of ownership of your partner's end of the relationship," Christina Vazquez, a psychotherapist and the author of The Uncherished Wife: Recover from the Emotionally Absent Man, tells Romper by email. Don’t play a victim. In fact, if you use this line, your partner is fully justified in breaking up with you. But this is the person you’re supposed to love above all others. Whether you're severely struggling with a mental health issue or you're just upset about a situation, a healthy partner is one who will show you empathy and ask how they can support you. Forbidding you from seeking employment or studying is a way to isolate and control you. This is one that men typically use on women, but it can go the other way, too. “You’re always late.” “You never put away the laundry.” When you use these phrases, they’re rarely truthful or productive, and always hurtful. Also please check out the author’s books: Human Development and Trauma: How Childhood Shapes Us into Who We Are as Adults and Self-Work Starter Kit. If you think your partner doesn’t know that, don’t kid yourself. Meaning, you’re stepping over the line; you should be more obedient. “Just the mention of it in jest can cause serious hurt and doubt in his mind and serious damage to the relationship.” These 15 types of arguments may mean the end of your relationship. Ouch. But an abusive partner may forcefully distance you from your support network. “This type of comment does nothing to remedy the situation at hand.” When things go how you predicted rather than how your spouse expected, he’s more than aware of the outcome, says Lloyd. You will be sorry for this. Meaning, stay silent, obey, and don’t question anything. Meaning, you should be grateful, not upset. It’s not a big deal. Recognizing the past behaviors that have harmed the relationship is vital on both ends, Manly adds. But if they're seriously trying to manipulate you into doing what they want, that's not so innocuous. Abuse comes in many shapes and sizes. Life would be so much easier if they could. Meaning, you’re treating me unfairly. But if they consistently say some of these toxic things, you might want to consider leaving the relationship. If you consistently feel drained or unhappy after spending time with your partner, it could be a sign that things need to change, says relationship therapist Jor-El Caraballo. You can’t live without me. “It’s not that you fight but how you fight. Sometimes, toxicity can verge on abuse, she says. 1. “Never compare your current spouse to any prior relationships,” says Mike Goldstein, founder and lead dating coach of EZ Dating Coach. Maybe this involves talking to a close friend or joining a local support group for couples or partners dealing with specific issues in their relationship, such as infidelity or substance misuse. It’s likely obvious that something is wrong. Try acknowledging that your partner might feel helpless to support you through the situation, she says. Your words have more power than you realize. Ask Erin: How Do I Tell My Sister That Her Husband Relapsed? If your partner says one of these toxic things to you, that isn't necessarily a sign that the entire relationship is worth abandoning. “But never touch that one unless you want big trouble,” says Masini. Talk it out and get on the same page. You’re too sensitive. Be gentle with each other. You Can't Be Yourself Around Them. In the middle of an argument, it can be easy to say something hurtful that you don't really mean. It’s also about being present and engaged during difficult conversations. Resist the temptation to constantly refer back to negative scenarios. Do your best to stay calm, Dr. Doug Weiss, a licensed psychologist and relationship therapist, tells Bustle. Her articles have appeared in Woman's World, Boca Raton Observer and Healthywomen.org, among other sites and publications. These are the 12 subtle signs you’ve got a cheating spouse. You may despise your mother-in-law. If he’s done something that’s a deal breaker for you, then either have a serious conversation with him about it, go to couples therapy, or break up with him. “It usually comes with the tone of a disgruntled wife.” Men are even programmed to please and be the hero, says Spira. But this shouldn’t be the sole focus of your relationship moving forward. But once it’s been said, the damage has been done to your marriage, even if it’s an idle threat. “So if you’re feeling dissatisfied in your relationship, it’s important to address your needs in a calm, non-blaming way,” says Burns. It’s important for each of you to individually determine what you need from the relationship and where your boundaries lie, Lawsin advises. Similar to the above, it’s another exaggeration that weakens whatever you’re actually trying to say. Darius Cikanavicius, Author, Certified Coach, Things Abusers and Manipulators Say to Their Victims, How Narcissists Use Silent Treatment for Manipulation, 6 Reasons Why Narcissists Try to Appear Caring and Helpful, How Narcissists Try to Avoid Responsibility, 7 Ways Narcissists Make You Feel Inferior, Human Development and Trauma: How Childhood Shapes Us into Who We Are as Adults. I hate you. If your partner is pushing, slapping, or hitting you, it’s a clear sign that the relationship has become dangerous. “While ‘stupid’ isn’t a curse word, it’s hurtful,” says April Masini, a New York-based relationship and etiquette expert and author. You’re so manipulative. When (and How) to Break Up with Someone You Love, 11 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist — and How to Get Out, Talk It Out: Communication 101 for Couples, Changes to Baby Head Shape: Causes, Treatments, and Concerns. Meaning, I want you to suffer. “Sarcastic comments that put your partner down will erode the relationship and are likely to leave your partner feeling frustrated,” says Hall. Editor's Note: If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org. Was there some family drama weighing heavily on their mind? And if keeping resolutions is hard for you (who isn’t it hard for?) ", "Don't You Think You Should Eat Something Healthier? Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Meaning, you shouldn’t feel hurt, and you’re being manipulative. If you’re in a toxic relationship, you may recognize some of these signs in yourself, your partner, or the relationship itself. An abusive partner might explode with rage or use intimidation tactics, such as slamming their fists into walls or not allowing you to leave the house during a fight.

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